I know other people's bodily functions aren't the most popular topics of interest, but I'm gonna go head and take a stab at it anyway, because health is a very crucial part of living abroad...(can't say I didn't warn you though!)
I woke up this morning not feeling quite right. I had a slight pain in my gut, so I went to the toilet to "move som'thin'," I sat down and...
SPLOOSH!
..nothing but liquid and other assorted prizes. It seemed as if soup had been cooking throughout my stomach throughout the night and was ready to be served. After I was done, I took my morning shower, but my stomach was still bubbling. I had to go again. Because of that I caught a little bit later train than usual, but I still got to school at my usual time.
As soon as I walked in, I had to go again. Nothing but sploosh. My stomach was bubbling a little less, but I didn't feel comfortable at all, and actually almost felt like hurling when I stood up too long. I had to teach the 3rd-graders their last two classes of the school year, and I'd told Yamada-sensei that I didn't feel very well.
Why "SPLOOSH?"
(Well, last night I went to Richard's to hang out. His girl was there and ended up cooking dinner: Chinese-style stir-fry chicken and veggies with white rice. The meal was alright, though it was greasy, kinda bland, and the chicken chunks seemed like they could've been cooked a bit longer. I hadn't eaten since then, when I'd woken up this morning, so I knew it was the greasy stir-fry that wrecked my stomach. Actually, there's a chicken flu going around in Japan--I was just reading the other day how they killed like 265,000 chickens at some Japanese farm.)
Oh, God. I hope I don't have any bird flu. ..mmm, I don't think it's bird flu though.
So, I manned-up and taught my two classes anyway. By the second class, everyone had heard that I was feeling sick. I felt useless, and felt like I was going to spew, but I tried to stay perked for the kids, though I had to squat and sit down a couple times during class to rest. At the end of the class, the students all gave me handwritten letters thanking me for teaching them the past school year. Each one individually came up to me, thanked me, and shook my hand. At the end, I made some final words in Japanese and English. I don't know WHY, but I suddenly felt like I was gonna cry. That's totally unlike me to get weepy over sentimental mush, but the feeling VERY briefly swept over me. I guess, it had something to do with the fact that I was feeling weak and vulnerable with pain in my stomach, combined with the tenderness of the little kids, and plus I was feeling kinda bad because I wasn't 100% me for their last class..and..
(Self): "Man, what the heck is wrong with you?! Don't tell me you're gonna go teary in front of a bunch of 8-year-olds--your whole rep is at stake. Man up!"
Like I said, the feeling came over me briefly. I finished class on a very dry note (eyes, that is) then retreated back to the staffroom to bury my head in my desk.
I'd been to the john about 4 times already, and it wasn't yet noon. I still felt pretty bad, and to top it off, I had a meeting at my junior high school scheduled for the afternoon. Once the elementary crew saw I was debilitated, they kept running up to me asking if I was okay. I told them my stomach hurt a little bit, and I just wanted to put my head down for a while. Asano-sensei, my coordinator, one of the assistant principals, went into Mother Hen-mode and began clamoring about making phone calls to my company telling them to cancel my meeting and that the school was going to send me home early. I almost felt like I was one of the kids and not a teacher. Meanwhile, I was sitting over on the staffroom couch with my head on the table. The school nurse came over with a big jar of brown pills trying to get me to take some. I kinda looked at her skeptically and told her I don't really take medicine. I didn't even know what the pills were for goodness' sake. She pulled out her bilingual electronic dictionary, punched some keys and seconds later showed me the display--it read "gastrointestinal." I asked her were their herbs in them. She said yes. She told me to take them with my lunch. I didn't agree. She ended up putting a few in a plastic bag for me and labelled the bag with marker.
Lunch soon came and I was so sick, You know a brotha's hurt when he skips a meal, and I'm not one to skip meals. I just pretty much rested back at my desk. Folks left me alone for a while, but they started wondering why I hadn't gone home yet. I raised my head and told them "I'm not going home. I have an important meeting this afternoon." I guess they were a little surprised and someone said "Ganbarimasu," meaning that I was "persevering" through the pain. I called my company and had them "un-cancel" my meeting. And that was that.
What was so important about the meeting?
It's approaching the end of the school year and also the end of my 1-year contract. My company sent evaluation forms to every school to assess the performance of the teachers for the school year. The evaluation was used to determine how much of a raise we get for the following year. I was surprised when my company offered me only 80% of the measly maximum possible raise amount. I didn't sign my new contract offer because I wanted to look into the negative evaluation made against me. When I inquired about it, I learned that, while my elementary school raved about me, I received less than stellar reviews from one/some? of the junior high personnel. However, a limited number of teachers at each school contributed to the evaluation who weren't neccessarily our designated coordinator, and my company refused to reveal which teachers completed the evaluations. In addition, the company wouldn't allow us to see the evaluation forms they used. I asked my company to set up a meeting with my JHS in order to get to the core of the negative aspects of my evaluation. Thus, the afternoon meeting.
At first, I felt dissed by the JHS teachers for my negative evaluation, until, after a lot of arm-twisting of my company, I was sent a copy of the evaluation form that was used. First off, the evaluation, which was scripted by my company, and translated badly into English, was biased as hell. It didn't focus on anything positive about my (our) teaching or contributions throughout the school year. Of the form's 10 questions, only about 5 related directly to teaching performance, for which they could circle a grade A-F. The others were too personal in nature or non-objective to be assessed fairly by another individual in any capacity. It seemed as if the company designed the evaluation to serve as a means to penalize our salaries. Typical Big-English-style corporate shade. And here I was thinking my co. was better than that.
After 4p, I rode over to JHS and met with the school's three English teachers, plus one of the female staffers from my company who was there to act as a liaison. We went over each question, examining what the teachers had to say directly about me for each one. Of course, every story has at least 2 sides, but their side was pretty bogus. I was really surprised and disappointed to hear some of the bogus things they had to say, for instance:
In regards to "communication skill to students:"
One teacher said he didn't think I communicated enough with the students. (This is in spite of the fact, that I talk to my students personally in the classroom, in the hallways, and at lunch time.) He said I should play after-school sports with the kids. I told him I don't have a problem with that, although no teacher ever extended an invitation to Amen-sensei about any afterschool programs. He suggested I join with the basketball club. I told him I don't play basketball. This is the same school that wouldn't allow me to join any of the student games on Sports Day, when I gave up my Saturday to be there, in anticipation of getting to join the students in games. THAT'S BOGUS.
In regards to "Does the teacher follow school rules or morality?"
One teacher in particular said I'm a "bad influence" on students at lunchtime because I drink orange juice instead the school standard milk. (This is in spite of the fact that at the beginning of the school year, I told my company and the school that I don't eat red meat or drink milk, and my coordinator said it was okay for me to bring my own my beverages, my own lunch, even. Apparently, they didn't get the memo.) They went on to say, that if I continue to drink juice at lunch, they'd considering disallowing me to eat lunch together with my students! Since when is drinking fruit juice a bad influence on kids? Plus, wouldn't isolating me from the students at lunch reduce my communication time with them? THAT'S BOGUS.
In regards to "Do they [the students] learn English effectively? (acquisition of English skill):
Is this even a fair question? NO. It's not. How can an assistant language teacher be judged for the language skill level of an entire school of pre-adolescents? Some of the students hate school to begin with, not to metnion English, so they have no skills in any subjects. This is a very non-objective question. My company messed that question up big-time. But I received a low grade for it. BOGUS.
For instance. And the bogusness continued...
Towards the end of the meeting, I told the teachers that there were things that I enjoyed about teaching with all of them, and asked them did they have any positive things to say about me. They all kind of sat there silently, then finally one teacher said "We'll tell you later." What? Y'ALL BOGUS!
When all is said and done, I realize now more than ever that JHS is a cold world for foreign English teachers. On one hand they isolate you on the outer rim of the school's universe of affairs, but then they want you to be Super Foreigner, Satisfier of All's Desires. Please. Other teachers in my company have had similar experiences. This week, I've lost a lot of respect for my company, and honestly, I don't even know how I should feel about this whole situation, other than pissed-off. I don't even know if JHS wants me back, or if I want to even be back there in April. I'd be cool with elementary only, really. I have another meeting with my company folk next week. I know one thing: I've never been one to sell myself out or bow in the face of injustice. So most likely, there'll be more drama to come.
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