Today was it. I walked in the staffroom right at the beginning of our morning meeting. I silently made my way to the locker room to hang my jacket, then hung back a bit as not to walk across the room and disrupt the meeting. When I came back in, 2 teachers who were leaving our school gave short goodbye-thank you speeches to the teachers. The principal looked at me, smiled, and made a comment about me coming back for the next school year, so as to excuse me from making any speech of my own. I'd actually intended to offer some words, but caught standing there off-guard, still with my bag in hand, I simply was unprepared at that moment.
We had a closing ceremony with all of the students, to officially end the school year. During the ceremony, grades 1-3 gave short class presentations demonstrating some of the things they's learned throughout the year. The second graders did English and sang some of the songs they'd learned. It was kind of a cute tribute to me. The same two teachers who were leaving gave goodbye-thank you speeches in front of all of the students. Asano-sensei, the assistant principal, acknowledged me at the ceremony and announced to the students that I would be returning for the following year, so, again, I wasn't asked to make any speech. It seems like everyone, including myself, is expecting me to return to the same school in April, although the local board of ed. makes the final placement decisions.
After the ceremony, the kids were sent home but the teachers had meetings, so everyone returned to the staffroom. There was no school lunch, so most people ordered bento lunch sets from a local shop. They didn't know the contents of the lunch, so I opted to get my lunch from the convenience store close to school. Other teachers also opted out of the bento lunches, so Kawamura-sensei and I made a run to the store to get grub for ourselves and some other teachers.
Mrs. Kawamura is an unbelievably nice lady, so much that when I first met her I thought she was faking it. I liked her early on because she never spoke to me like I was illiterate. She always speaks with a sincere and caring tone. I've never even heard her raise her voice at her students, even when she was upset. She kinda reminds me of the Good Witch of the East. No pun intended.
At the convenience store, she wouldn't let me pay for my own food that I selected from the bento section. I tried to pay and failed. After we reached the car, she ran back in and bought me some yogurt because she thought I didn't have enough to eat. Before I had a chance to say "No, that's alright, thank you" she was already halfway back to the front door. Super nice lady.
Before lunch, we had another short meeting in the staffroom. The principal made some announcements then motioned to end the meeting for lunch. At that point, I raised my hand to speak. Standing up at my desk, I gave a short speech.
At first apologizing for my inept Japanese, I proceeded to express my contentment with teaching for the past year, as well as thanks to the teachers for their great kindness throughout the year which, in part, enhanced my life in Japan.
My speech came off much more solemnly than I'd imagined--it was my first experience expressing any particularly heartfelt feelings in Japanese, and my lack of skill with the language perhaps compounded any sense of vulnerability I felt as I expressed myself earnestly in front of so many. As I'd only thought about what I wanted to say, I hadn't written any words down, and briefly paused after every sentence as I tried to recall the next line. While speaking, I found it hard to make eye contact with anyone, only able to focus on the principal's face from time to time, as to control the oncoming of any eyewater. Similarly, I find that Japanese people rarely make individual eyen contact when speaking to large groups of people, so, I suppose I didn't come off too out of place. Everyone sat quietly and patiently as I humbly pieced my speech together, and as I said my final thanks and took my seat, they applauded. Then we ate lunch.
In the afternoon, there was a big 2-hour teachers meeting at my JHS that everyone had to attend. The meeting involved a lecture from a universtiy professor about how to improve classes and teaching methods for Japanese students. The subject matter was rather academic, so Okado-sensei, the youngest English teacher from my JHS, sat next to me and periodically wrote down notes for me in English to keep me abreast of the topics.
Ironically, the professor's lecture held my attention more than some of the Japanese teachers. One would have thought since I understood what was going on the least, I would've gotten bored the quickest, however, when I glanced around the meeting room I was amused to see several teachers who'd dozed off. I looked to my right and saw the vice-principal of my elementary school's forehead almost touching the table. Actually, I was able to recognize a number of words from the lecture, although I didn't comprehend the full meaning of the statements that were being made.
The professor talked for over 2 hours straight, running over the scheduled time for the meeting. By the time 4pm came, everyone was kind of jittery, antsily glancing at the overhead wallclock. Finally, the meeting ended and the elementary school teachers started ushering themselves toward the exit of the meeting room. Ready to get my vacation started, I packed my stuff to leave. Before I made it out of my seat, Isobe-sensei, the assistant principal of my JHS, asked me to give an end-of-the-year speech to all the attending JHS teachers. I felt a little hesitant, because I hadn't prepared anything to say to them, mainly because I didn't really have anything to say to them. To be courteous, I decided to say some words anyway.
When I stood in front of the teachers to speak, most were still sitting, busily chatting amongst each other, paying me no mind. I looked over several times at Isobe-sensei, waiting for an okay signal to begin, as it seemed I had no one's attention. He nodded his head, and I started speaking. In Japanese, I briefly told them that I'd enjoyed teaching the students during the school year, which I had, and finished with a thank you. I felt like I was reciting lines, as there was no warm sentiment in my words, because I didn't feel like I had anything in particular to thank them for, as I'd more or less ignored by them for almost an entire year. My experiences with the teachers at elementary and junior high were like day and night.
I was really turned off by the general behavior of most of the JHS teachers towards me throughout the school year. While I didn't feel like people were being impolite, I did feel like there was a slight lack of respect and consideration for me, a foreign national teacher, a guest of sorts, who played an integral role in the education of hundreds of students; instead, I felt like a total outsider within the school organization, generally ignored, and disincluded in school affairs. Although I felt like I had good rapport with the principals, I'd say that most of those teachers, in no certain terms, made it obvious that they had no interest to willingly engage me, the foreigner. Ah, I suppose that's more reflective of typical Japanese behavior--to keep what's from the outside on the outside. We'll see how things go during the new school year.
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